I READ with utter dismay, this Singaporean mother’s desperate battle in Johor’s Syariah Court to regain custody of her 6 year old son. It highlights a heartbreaking reality that haunts many parents looking for their children in Malaysia. Her story mirrors countless others – mothers who haven’t embraced their children for years, fathers searching endlessly across the country for a glimpse of their little ones. In one horribly painful case I know, a mother, whose daughter is the same age as my daughter, who turns 17 in February, has seen her daughter once since abducted by the father when she was 2 years old. Once, briefly… and just as suddenly and painfully, taken away again! To have that kind of pain and power to inflict on another parent by using the child as hostage, is utterly outrageous and wrong.
I’ve sat and spoken and tried to support parents who were in similar desperate situations- both mothers and fathers. I feel that pain, agony and suffering- what I’ve observed barely scratches the surface of the agony, loss and fear these parents face daily…for months and years. And barely anyone has helped or has succeeded without consent from the non-custodial parent or exerting the full extent of the law – not in most of the cases I personally know off! The child disappears in Malaysia without a trace!
The statistics paint a disturbing picture of parental child abduction in Malaysia. From 2009 to 2010, cases fluctuated from 24 to 16 incidents, while 2011 saw 16 cases among 1,859 missing children reports. By 2012, this number increased to 20 cases out of 2,193 missing children. I don’t know the latest numbers as they are unavailable.
There are dual legal complications in these cases. The Malaysian legal framework operates through:
– Civil courts for non-Muslim cases
– Syariah courts for Muslim cases
Foreign custody orders hold no binding power, as Malaysian courts must independently review each child’s best interests. Malaysia’s non-participation in the Hague Convention on Child Abduction creates significant obstacles for international cases. The country’s refusal stems from concerns about potential conflicts with Shariah law, which bases custody decisions largely on religious, age, and gender factors. In most cases, you lose a child when a Malaysian parents kidnaps the child from a non-Malaysian parent and spirits them here.
I personally know of a case where a Malaysian father kidnapped his 6 year old daughter from his American girlfriend in the U.S, brought her home to be with his family. For 6 years, the mother pleaded and asked for help. An Amber Alert was raised but the child had already left the country. The case was only brought to light when the now 12 year old child alerted her school that she was American not Malaysian and the US Embassy was contacted. The child had been severely abused by the father and had moved from school to school during the 6 years. There was a court hearing here in Malaysia with cooperation from the US embassy and the Ministry of Women , the courts and NGOS and the child was reunited with her mother a short time later. The trauma, the pain and loss was beyond comprehension. But yes, the child was reunited with her mother, 6 years later.
There are enforcement mechanisms in place- the legal system provides several protective measures:
– Section 100 of the Law Reform Act allows courts to prevent children from being taken out of Malaysia
– Section 361 of the Penal Code criminalizes child abduction when there’s an existing custody order
However, the pain of parental child abduction cuts deeper in Malaysia due to a complex web of legal and cultural challenges. While Malaysian law provides mechanisms for protection through both civil and Shariah courts, the reality on the ground tells a different story. Parents granted legal custody often find themselves helpless when their children vanish into the labyrinth of our dual legal system. Law enforcement often hesitates to intervene, viewing these cases as private family matters rather than criminal acts. One parent I know filed 14 police reports against her estranged husband even before the abduction, and even with the Syariah courts giving her full custody, the arrogant father just spirited the child out of the country and then brought her back to Malaysia, years later. Police never took action because the father had rights still, the authorities said. This reluctance, combined with jurisdictional conflicts between civil and Syariah courts, creates perfect storms where children become pawns in complex legal battles. It’s worse when parents are of different race and religion never mind nationality!
Malaysia’s absence from the Hague Convention on International Child Abduction creates a particularly vulnerable situation for international families. When children cross borders, left-behind parents face an uphill battle with limited legal recourse.
It is an absolute nightmare!
For parents fighting to reunite with their children, immediate action is crucial. Filing police reports, securing court orders, alerting their respective embassies to be accountable when the parent is from another country, is crucial! Maintaining detailed documentation become lifelines in the quest for justice; finding support networks, including domestic violence organizations and legal aid services, hiring private detectives offer crucial assistance in navigating these turbulent, painful times . Constant social media postings and appeals and interviews help- if nothing else -to remind the public that one mother is searching for her child, who has been kidnapped by another parent and needs help. Open letters to the editor, private letters of appeal to the Prime Minister and religious leaders may help.
A Call for Change
The system’s shortcomings demand attention. From the lack of specialized units handling parental abductions to the absence of international agreements, each gap represents a child’s lost chance to maintain relationships with both parents. Until these systemic issues are addressed, stories like the Singaporean mother’s will continue to echo through our courts, reminding us of the human cost of these legal labyrinths.
For now, affected parents must arm themselves with knowledge, documentation, and support networks while hoping for reforms that prioritize children’s rights to both parents, regardless of nationality or faith. The story is a painful constant reminder to us that behind every custody battle lies a child’s right to love and be loved by both parents – a right that transcends borders, beliefs, and bureaucracy. And that no one, no one has a right to deny a parent the right to see their child by kidnapping the child and spiriting them away. – Noavember 24, 2024
– Datuk Dr Hartini (Tini) Zainudin is a prolific child rights and welfare advocate. She is the founder of Yayasan Chow Kit, a one stop crisis centre for at-risk children.