KUALA LUMPUR – A lawyer has highlighted a silent crisis brewing behind courtroom doors where fathers are fighting for the right to stay in their children’s lives.
Amid the turmoil of divorce and separation, these men find themselves at a stark disadvantage, facing a legal system that many believe is outdated and biased.
Malcolm Fernandez, a seasoned lawyer and the president of the Father’s Rights Association of Malaysia (FRAM), is on a mission to change this narrative.
He passionately advocates for the rights of fathers, highlighting the severe challenges they face in child custody battles and calling for urgent reforms to an antiquated system.
“Fathers usually do not have much to go about; the law is such that when the child is under seven, there is a presumption that the child is better off being with the mother; there is a stereotype that fathers are not able to look after the child; the mother is nurturing while the father is not.
“This stereotype is something that I have always been against because, in this day and age, fathers actively participate in the child’s life; the legislation we have, unfortunately, has not evolved to the present time, and we are still basing our decisions on an act enacted in 1976,” he told Scoop when met recently.
Fernandez said that it is highly uncommon for a father to win their custody battle and secure custody of their child, even when the father desires involvement and access to the child’s life.
“The statistics are not favourable to the fathers; the hurdles that the father has to go through are huge, and it is not an easy path to seek custody or access.
“The dynamics are also unfavourable for the father when the child is a girl, due to factors like daughters, when they come of age, preferring to talk to their mother instead of their father.
“All of that may have been the considerations back in the 1980s, but these days, even fathers go out and buy sanitary pads. The fathers are more modern in their thinking and more open to their daughters, and you cannot just look at the father as the breadwinner anymore,” he said.
Fernandez also said FRAM maintains a WhatsApp group specifically for fathers. This platform allows them to exchange and discuss their personal journeys and challenges encountered during child custody battles.
“We have a group for fathers, and it is not just a group where the fathers just share their experience, it’s a group for the fathers to know that they are not alone.
“These cases exert significant strain on a person’s mental well-being. They may be divorced, separated from their children, or isolated.
“Adding to that, they get ridiculed by friends if they discuss their struggles. Where can a father speak publicly about these issues? So, this WhatsApp group can act as a support group for them,” he said.
Fernandez also suggested that there should be talks about amending the Law Reform (Marriage and Divorce) Act 1976 to include the possibility of implementing joint custody.
He noted that Section 88(1) states that “the court may at any time by order place a child in the custody of his or her father or his or her mother or, where there are exceptional circumstances making it undesirable that the child be entrusted to either parent, of any other relative of the child or of any association the objects of which include child welfare or to any other suitable person”.
“In some jurisdictions in the United States and parts of Europe, there is this concept called shared parenting, where you have joint custody of the child, but there is a misconception by people, especially mothers, who feel that in a joint custody situation, they will not have power over the child, which is wrong.
“What they don’t understand is that custody here involves the decision-making process, so if the father is paying maintenance and is really active, responsible, and loving, then I don’t see a reason why the father should not be given custody,” he said. – June 9, 2024